Preschool Failures

OK, now that I have described the wonderful things that Kael has accomplished in his Preschool year, let me give you an insight into some of his failures.  They are not real failures at all, however I do have to list them as  opposites to accomplishments.

Erica and I were very nervous putting Kael on the school bus, but we were reassured having Tyla, his older sister guiding him on and off the bus.  And I am sure Tyla didn't realize how much work it would be trying to control Kael.  The reports from Tammi the bus driver indicated that he was running up and down the isle punching the kids along the way.  He eventually was kicked off from the bus at the end of his third day of school.  The problem was not because he wasn't able to sit still, or the fact that he disrupted Tammie by hitting the other kids on the bus.  The final straw was when he spit in a parent's face as she was taking her child from the bus.

It took over a week before the teachers and bus driver devised a plan of action that would eventually allow Kael to return to riding the bus.  The first thing they devised was to issue the first seat to Kael, so that he knew every day which seat was his and the rest of the students understood as well. Then Tammie gave Kael a special toy he would only get if he stayed in his seat.  It was enough to keep him occupied throughout the entire ride to and from school.  Another tool his teachers devised was the use of a picture book which described what will happen on the bus.  It showed a picture of the bus, Tammie, his seat, the school, and his teachers.  This help aid Kael in understanding what would happen next to help reduce his anxiety, which may have led him to be antsy and run through the isle.

The only thing worse than getting kicked off the bus for spitting was the time he pulled the fire alarm at school.  This resulted in the fire department showing up to confirm there was no actual fire.  Although the teachers talked to Kael about the severity of pulling the fire alarm, he did not understand, because he did it again.  Yep, this time wasn't so bad because ironically there was a scheduled fire drill to be held that day.  Only, because it was raining outside the teachers decided not to have the drill.  Of course that is when Kael pulled the alarm.

Preschool Success Stories

Kael successfully completed Preschool and has impresses both his teachers and his parents. There were some bumps along the road, which made us nervous, however he pulled through and is ready for next year. 

Lets review some of his accomplishments and some of his epic failures which will be retold for years to come.
First, we are all proud that he was able to break out of his shell and become a sociable kid.  And when I say that, I mean he is able to play with other kids.  He doesn't yet initiate play, but he is able to join in and continue playing with the kids in his class.  He still has trouble talking, so play is limited to actions like building blocks or playing cars.  His teachers say his favorite social game is to play chase, where he gets to chase and be chased by his classmates.  When I spent some time in his classroom, I was surprised to see him in the gym interacting with other kids who found it fun for him to pull them across the gym floor using a hoola-hoop.  It really brings me joy to see him having fun with other kids, I have heard of many stories of Autistic children who are anti-social.

Second is the fact that he is now potty trained!  Such a big relief not having to put him on the toilet, hoping he will go.  It started as a routine of sitting him on the toilet between activities until he produced something, even the smallest tinkle would do. Often this was a major chore to break him from his focus and pull him away to the bathroom. Once he grasped that concept, he would go to the toilet after being asked if he had to go.  And now, he goes all by himself without being prompted or bribed.  Now we need to teach him how to wipe.

Third success is his ability to communicate more effectively.  Kael has broken out of his speaking shyness and is able to use multiple words in a complete sentence.  Albeit, the sentence may be hard to understand and may be filled with "filler" sounds, (he may not know the proper word so he will fill it in with taht tee toe sounds) we are still able to understand his point and complete his request.  He still has issues with a full back and forth conversation, but for right now, we are considering it a complete improvement from before he started school.

The fourth success story is his ability to sound out all of his letters.  From the help of Leap Frog's Letter Factory and Leap Frog's Talking Words, that my sister Cheri bought for him.  He picked up the sounds quickly because each letter has an action with the sound.  For example the letter W shows the letter dressed as a rapper saying " whuh whuh whuh" like a rapper would.  Or the letter T making the "teh teh teh" sound as it tap dances around.  This program seemed to work more effective than the ZooPhonics that the preschool taught.

And the fifth success story of his preschool year would be his newly acquired skill of writing his name.  He would, each and every day write his name in his Name Log which would show his progression from simple squiggly lines to actual letters.  His teachers would also tell stories of Kael writing his name with his eyes closed.  Of course this made him upset because it never looked as what he envisioned it to be when he opened his eyes.  Probably because he hasn't mastered the grip of the pencil quite yet.  Still, we will mark it as a victory, because he can recognize his name and write it down (somewhat) legibly.

Proud Papa

     I heard about horror stories, the one about Autistic children not being potty trained even after their 10th birthday.  Today I am a proud papa, because I can rightfully claim that Kael is potty trained!  He has shown so many improvements and has impressed Erica and myself tremendously.  You may never truly understand the significants of knowing what this milestone means for parents of an Autistic child.  Kael's therapists would even tell us to prepare ourselves for the reality, and to expect Kael to not be potty trained for a few years.  And here he is, within the last week he has made managed to go by himself with no help or direction for either parent.

     Before, it would take us forcing him to sit on the toilet, and he would kick and scream until he was placed upon the potty.  Then, he would stop fighting, pee, and act if nothing ever happened.  Not loving this routine of his, I was at one point willing to accept the fact that he will be in diapers well into middle school.  But Kael's councilors suggested Kael wear underwear until he learned to potty and it worked!  It was very tough on Erica and I to remember to stop what we were doing every hour to put Kael on the potty, and the screaming and fighting did not help at all, but we did it!  And he is doing it!

Now the next challenge... Bed Time!

Improvements

Kael has shown significant improvements since the begining of this mmonth. I am not shure what has changed with him... not his diet, or any other physical factors, so I must think that it is the support that he gets from school.

For some odd reason, Kael has dramaticly impoved his speech. He is now able to articulate words more clearly than ever before, and because we are able to understand him more, he is able to carry a conversation. Albeit a short one, maybe two or three sentences worth, but still... his brain is starting to work with his mouth. And his ears are more keen and can hear the differences in the sound his mouth makes. I can feel as if the cloud around him is clearing... and I am happy, with Kael. I'm not so happy with Erica.

Erica has applied a colorful bumper sticker to the back of her car that says "Its not Autism, its "AWE"tism." Now, this bumper sticker nags at me in a couple ways. One of which is the vagueness of the crude pun. Is Autism like awesome? Cause it's not. Or is Autism like a cute little kitty, "Awe"tism? Cause it's not that either.

Another reason this sticker gets to me is that it ANNOUNCES to the world that we have a child with Autism, look at us! Hey, we have a child with Autism, we are special! Yoohoo, hey look, over here, yeah us... Our son is Autistic. Now, if our son was born with no legs, would we have a sticker that said "Being Crip is Hip"? NO. How about any other abnormality or deficiency for that matter. NO!

She says it is to show your support. So, the bumper sticker stays. Even though I don't know what we are supporting. A greater cause? A cure? Or just to spread the word about Autism. I'm not sure.

But... I digress.

Kael has shown so much improvement and has even spent the last nights without a diaper.  

Kael's Journey

A memoir about a boy.

But not just a boy, a young boy stricken with Autism.

But not just a young boy stricken with Autism, but more importantly, my son.

Kael, at the time of this writing, a young boy, in his 2nd month of being a 4 year old.

And when I say stricken with Autism, I mean Autism Spectrum Disorder. And on this "spectrume" or scale of severity, Kael ranks in the "mild" part of the spectrum. In fact for some tests, he tested just below the "Qualifying" margins, which qualifies him as Autistic. My sister Cheryl calls it "Labeling". Erica my wife and I called "It", much sooner, at about age 2... we knew. We knew our Son Kael was "Special", we knew he was "Different". Maybe just "Slow" or "Stubborn", or maybe even "Lazy", but we knew.

Labeling Kael is hard, because he is more than just those words. And Kael is more than words. However, if I did have to define him, I do like the word "Unique". It does capture what I witness with in him every day. A person, just as complex and interesting as you or I. A being that is fun and personal, loving and cheerful. Mostly happy but sometimes sad. Just like us all. He feels love... and pain, in the mean while, giving his love and being a pain, sometimes. Just like us all.

The "People" call him Autistic.

He calls himself "Kael".

And this is his story.

A journey, through his "Diagnosis" into what truly describes himself, UNIQUE.